Fairways, Greens, Lost Balls & Bad Lies is a new, fresh, amusing, and entertaining story about golfers just like your golf comrades. You will read about adventures of friends who share the thrill and torture of playing the game we love.
“The most delightful and humorous golf book I’ve read.” That is what David Cook, author and producer of Seven Days in Utopia said about Fairways, Greens, Lost Balls, & Bad Lies.
If you like golf, you’ll love this book. Reading it will lift your spirits, and you may stumble upon a tip or two that will improve your game.
Please order it today on Amazon, CornerStoneLeadership, or your local bookstore. Kindle and Audible versions are also available on Amazon.
You can lead your discussion group at work, home, school, or church through Quit Drifting, Lift the Fog, and Get Lucky with our free, five-session, small-group guide, and reproducible handouts.
How can you become the person you want to be? The answer may be right in front of you, camouflaged by things that are not real. Make sure you don’t stagnate because of your fear of situations that are not going to happen.
English philosopher William of Ockham is credited with Occam’s razor theory. In a nutshell, the theory states that the simplest explanation of a problem is likely more accurate than a complex explanation. He “shaves away” the common explanations before spending time and resources on rationalizations that require more assumptions. Albert Einstein had a similar philosophy when he advised: “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.”
In medicine, doctors are taught to use Occam’s razor in illness diagnosis. The doctor looks first to the most common cause and moves to the next alternative only after ruling out the most common cause. Except in rare cases, a diagnosis of a common illness is the result.
What does Occam’s razor have to do with you? If you want to close the gap between where you are and where you want to be, start looking to improve the simple things.
Ask yourself: What am I doing today that is preventing me from being the person I want to be? What can I do differently? The solution begins with you. More than likely, no uncommon conspiracy is preventing you from being your very best. You have control over your actions, so take control.
Don’t try to complicate what is within your control. Beginning today, take control of what you can control and quit blaming and justifying. You will see your results improve immediately.
Are you a doer who is on a mission to achieve your clearly defined goals? Or are you a drifter who allows external circumstances to determine your next move?
Finding and pursuing your purpose is essential to success and happiness. Your purpose is more than a wish; it’s your guide that powers everything of importance. Even though your purpose evolves throughout your life stages, it doesn’t change based on temporary events that occur during each stage.
I’ve seen people who have not identified a priority that they would put above everything. Then, when the next hot deal comes along, they overreact. If you’re consistently creating a new reason for being, you don’t have a compass that reveals the true direction of where you’re heading. You may believe you’re winning, but you’re not winning at all.
Without a clear and consistent purpose, you will drift. You’ll move wherever the winds of the moment take you. That’s not a good or productive way to exist. No one I’ve ever known planned to become mediocre, but most people who don’t have a clearly defined purpose unintentionally allow mediocrity to seep in as they drift along.
The following story illustrates my point:
A couple was vacationing in Hawaii. Neither of them was a beach veteran, but they decided to try snorkeling. Before going into the ocean on their own, they took snorkeling lessons in the safety of their hotel pool. Soon they were prepared for their adventure. They got their fins on and masks ready and headed toward the Pacific to discover the unseen beauty of the ocean’s depths.
They were having a great time. No one else was snorkeling in the area. In fact, there was no one within sight. The water was perfect—calm, gentle, and relaxing. As the couple snorkeled face-down in the water, they were fascinated by the radiantly colored fish, spectacular plant life, and coral reef. It was a remarkable experience, but it was about to become unforgettable.
The guy lifted his head from the water and looked around. He quickly realized they had drifted out to sea. He could barely see their hotel in the distance. His wife was only a couple of yards from him. When he got her attention, she looked up and immediately recognized the dangerous situation they were in.
Their relaxing snorkeling adventure was over. They began swimming for their lives toward the shore. They swam for quite a while before finally reaching shallow water, where they could stand up and walk to the beach. Once they reached the beach safely, they collapsed in the sand, totally exhausted.
When they woke up that morning, they had no idea what was in store for them. They were near disaster while enjoying what they thought was a peaceful, relaxing time. They had drifted without realizing what was happening to them until they looked up. Then they were shocked to find they were not where they began and certainly not where they intended to be.
Most people drift occasionally. However, rarely does anyone drift to a destination they would have chosen. They get caught up in their day-to-day activities and become distracted, disoriented, and lose perspective. Then, they look up to discover they’re a long way from where they thought they’d be.
Life doesn’t have to be that way. You can choose to drift or choose to live and work with meaning and purpose. A clearly defined purpose allows you to intervene in any drift that may come your way.
Change is Good … You Go First was the pithy title of a book several years ago. As creative as the title is, the candor that it infers is even more true. Who wants to change? Without a crisis, why change? If we must change, you lead the charge.
I believe we should hug change when it comes our way. Change is usually resisted because we are confined to our own perspective, personal experiences, and data points. For instance, if you were raised in a military family, your perception of normal is based on the experiences you had growing up. If you were raised in a small rural town, your data points are small-town experiences. If you were raised in a large urban city, your opinions are formed by completely different data points. You also have data points based on the size of your family and your place in it, such as oldest, middle child, etc., as well as the gender of family members, religion, ethnicity, and significant personal events that molded your thinking. In most cases, your beliefs and ideas are generated from a small sample size of people whose experiences are like yours.
When a change comes along, foreign data points are introduced. A natural reaction to basically anything new and different is intimidation. When you expand your data points, your knowledge and wisdom are increased proportionately. However, even with new information the passion and pride of your traditional viewpoint may subconsciously overrule your ability to endorse a new perspective.
If you want long-term success and happiness, you must continually make changes. I’ve seen people hunker down, refuse to change, and wind up losing everything. They keep trying to saw sawdust at the risk of losing everything.
Change should be hugged and welcomed, even when things are going well. John F. Kennedy once said, “The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.” There is a lot of wisdom in that simple statement. Most people won’t even think about their roof until rain is dripping on their sofa and flooding the floors. Then, they have to repair the roof, the sofa, and the carpet. They would rather do anything but change…even if a disaster is coming.
In order to grow, you must let go of your comfortable, traditional ways of thinking. That’s the beginning of progress. Change should be embraced and hugged without fear. It allows you to move forward and look to the future with confidence.
Since things will change, why not hug change when it shows up?
Being great in small things is among the best traits of the most remarkable people. You, too, can stand out from everyone else by doing just a little more than people expect.
Phil is a friend and one of the most amazing people I have ever known. I consider him the gold standard of being great in small things.
I have thought a lot about what makes Phil so exceptional. My conclusion is that he is extraordinary because he is naturally friendly, well trained, and an avid reader. But he has a greater talent. I think Phil’s main quality is that he loves his work, and it shows. He once told me: “I love going to work because I get to meet more new people every day.”
Phil is a terrific example of how happiness at work begins before you leave home.
Most people say they “have to go to work.” Do they? Of course, you have a duty to make a living. But if you continually say you “have to,” you reinforce that you’re required to do something you don’t want to do. I would be shocked if Phil ever woke up and told his wife, Amy, that he had to go to work, even though work is necessary to pay his bills. It may sound like a minor thing, but “having to go to work” is a negative way of looking at something important in your life. I bet as soon as Phil wakes up, he smiles and tells Amy, “I get to go to work again!”
To be great, you must be like Phil and love what you are doing. What if you changed your attitude from “I have to go to work” to “I get to go to work”? That one attitude adjustment transforms you from being a victim who must work into an optimist who acknowledges that work is a gift and a privilege. This small thing can make a huge difference for you and those around you.
If you want long-term success, you must guard and protect your integrity. Without it, nothing else really matters. It doesn’t matter what you say if no one trusts you. And it doesn’t matter how committed, skilled, courageous, or optimistic you are if people don’t believe you’ll honor your words. None of those traits matter if people can’t count on you to do what you say you will do.
The loss of integrity is a major reason for failure and unhappiness. Look at the people who make the news because of a scandal—sports figures, film stars, politicians, CEOs, and sometimes a neighbor down the street. In most cases they allowed ego, insensitivity, and greed to override their integrity.
How can you guard and protect your integrity? If you consciously do four things, you will enhance your relationships, improve trust, and become a person whom others want to be around more often.
First, conduct a basic integrity check: Is the action I am about to take illegal, immoral, or unethical in any form? If you answer yes to any of those, STOP. Period.
Second, ask yourself: What is the right thing to do? You know the answer to that question. Regardless how much you may want to bury what ‘right’ is, if you are honest with yourself, the ‘right thing’ will always surface.
Third, defend your commitments. Don’t make commitments you cannot keep, even minor ones. You may have to give up something to keep your commitment. If that’s the case, ask yourself: Am I okay with making the exchange?
Fourth, eliminate ‘I’ll try’ from your vocabulary. Instead of saying ‘I’ll try,’ tell the person either ‘no’ or ‘consider it done.’ ‘I’ll try’ is weak and apathetic. You are not committed to doing anything when you use those words. ‘Consider it done’ is clear, direct and powerful.
Here are two quick actions you can take to become more optimistic.
First, talk to yourself in the same manner and with the same words you would use to encourage your best friend. If you are like most, you’re far more careful and considerate with what you say to others than with what you say to yourself. Typically, a large percentage of self-talk is negative: I can’t, I won’t, I wish, I’m not good enough, etc. Your best friend would never talk to you like that, and you would never talk to anyone else using the harmful words that you tell yourself.
When you get discouraged, ask yourself what your best friend would say to you, and then say it to yourself. It will make a difference in your ability to become the person you want to be.
Second, look around. You’ll see that there are plenty of things to be optimistic about. If you list five things you’re grateful for and dwell on them for a few minutes twice a day, your attitude will improve dramatically. Just five things. Taking a couple of minutes for gratitude will help change your perspective.
Why twice a day? If you acknowledge five blessings before arriving at work, your day will naturally begin better. In addition, before you open your door at home after work, do the same exercise. Even if you had a lousy day, refocusing on the positive things in your life will help prevent work issues from destroying your family time. The most important gift you can give your family is yourself. Give them your best, not just your leftovers from work.
Once there was a person who moved into a new town. He met a longtime resident and said, “I’m new to your town. What are the people like here?”
“What were the people like in the town you came from?” the old-timer asked in return.
“Well, they were pretty pessimistic and always complaining, and their glasses were half-empty,” the newcomer replied.
“Hmmm,” said the old-timer. “Sounds like the people who live here.”
A few weeks later, another person moved to the same town and met the same old-timer. “I’m new to your town. What are the people like here?” the newcomer asked.
“What were the people like in the town you came from?” the old-timer asked.
“Well, they were terrific. We worked together in the neighborhood, helped each other out, and were always there to support each other during tough times. We’re going to miss them now that we’ve moved,” the newcomer replied.
“Hmmm,” said the old-timer. “I think you’ll like it here. That sounds like the people who live here.”
The old-timer’s message? You get what you give. If you want to be around people who are positive, optimistic, and eager to live life, your attitude must be the same. If you think the people around you are glum and pessimistic, check yourself because that may be what you’re reflecting, too.
Your attitude is important. It influences your approach to life and your relationships with others. It can be the catalyst to chart a new course for your life and help you become the person you want to be.
Here is a story about the same situation being looked at differently:
Two researchers working for a shoe manufacturer were independently dispatched to one of the world’s least developed countries. Their task was to evaluate the business potential for shoes within that country.
After several weeks, a report came back from the first researcher, and the message read, ‘No market here. Nobody wears shoes.’
A few days later, the second report came back from the other researcher. It read, ‘Great market here. Nobody wears shoes!’
Those two people saw the same thing differently. The first guy probably considered himself a realist. He fixated on one thing and could not see the bigger picture. Actually, he was not a realist. He was blinded by his own perception of the obstacles in front of him.
The second guy looked beyond the obvious and saw possibilities. Optimistic people see opportunity. Negative people can’t see through their own fog to the potential right in front of them.
David Cottrell's Blog 
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